Wednesday 8 August 2012


With the odometer at 96282 we drove from Utrecht to Frankfurt. Germany. Roughly 440 kilometers.



By only blinking my eyes three times, the sign "Willkommen in Deutschland" appeared and disappeared. Within "a poop and a fart" (*) we were on the Autobahn. Better known as the Audi Bahn. One Audi after another Audi. Logically all on the left. That is the "right" side of the road for you Australian, British and Japanese readers. And you Indian readers ... in case you care.

(*) Within "a poop and a fart" is a Dutch expression, which figuratively represents the time it takes to perform a poop and a fart. According to Google the average times are 7 minutes and 1.2 seconds respectively. Seriously, no shit ... reading this blog takes about 10 minutes, so you should read it on your smartphone while you "drop some friends off at the pool".

Besides the "Willkommen in Deutschland" sign, I was looking forward to the "130" sign. With a thick line through it. You know? When the speed limit turns into a speed recommendation. And with the sign in sight, I decided to shift down to the fourth gear. Waited until we passed the sign ... wait for it ... aaaaand accelerate! Going to 180 KM/H and 6000 RPM and shifting to the fifth gear. Going to 200, 210, 220, 230 ... aaaaand braking for a truck taking over another truck a kilometer away. The tiny engine in the car continued with a growling sound ... and burn fuel. One liter, two liters, three liters. We decided to refuel. Both the car and us ... with a grilled sausage sandwich from the Appie. Also known as the Albert Heijn. Thus, we lunched and left.

Immer geradeaus!



When we arrived in Frankfurt, our Dutch speaking TomTom took us to Roomers. A five star design hotel where we were welcomed by the friendly staff while the Audi TT was parked by a personal valet. Somewhat uncomfortable I gave the car keys to the two meter tall chap that complimented me with my taste in girls cars

Great ... thanks!

I should have complimented him with his career choice, but compared to my day-to-day job it is actually a compliment instead of a subliminally intended insult. Aaaaanyway ... we tried pretending not to be impressed by the fabulous luxuriousness of the hotel.

Act. Cool.

Whereas I succeeded by correcting the receptionist on the pronunciation of my surname with witty confidence, Rebecca was still standing speechless in the hotel lobby.

After exploring the hotel we decided to continue exploring the city centre of Frankfurt. The old town and the new town. And we drank some and we ate some. Typical German things: The "Frankfurter wurst".





After a busy day we decided to return to the hotel and relax in the "Wellness World" at the rooftop, which was a stunning selection of saunas, showers, spas ... the lot ... till midnight.



And Rebecca ate all the free fruit from the bowl while no-one was watching. And took all the bath and body soapy stuff bottles.

*gasp*





Thursday 9 August 2012


With a bag full of smuggled bottles we took off with two stops on our way. The first stop in Stuttgart. To visit the museum of a car manufacturer that most likely holds the record for having the laziest designers "in the wooooorld" ... Porsche. The second stop in Baden-Baden. To visit the Friedrichsbad. Roughly 210 and 110 kilometers respectively.

At the Porsche museum we were impressed with the complementary color combinations of the exterior and the interior of a couple of Porsches.



And the Porsche 956 that at the top speed of 321 KM/H theoretically is able to drive upside down. Due to the downforce. Or the upforce ...



Aaaaanyway ... magnificent museum. Although I was disappointed that I didn't see the Porsche Cayman in person. Despite that ... the dealership was only a one minute walk opposite the museum. So we passed the museum shop and slipped into the dealership. And there she was ... the Porsche Cayman.

*gasp*

The sales person spotted our presence and approached us straightaway. Cut to scene:

"Please sign here, here and here!" said the sales person, while pointing at the dotted lines on the document. Scribble, scribble, scribble. Done. And in exchange for the pen, he handed me the keys to the car ... the Porsche Cayman.



Wait! What? No, that did not happen ...

Aaaaanyway ... we had some lunch and left Stuttgart. And when we arrived in Baden-Baden, our Dutch speaking TomTom took us to Heliopark Zum Hirsch. A four star boutique hotel where we were welcomed by the friendly staff.



We decided to visit the lovely little village of "pedestrianised" Baden-Baden and wander around. And we drank some and we ate some.



But we had to hurry, because we wanted to visit the Friedrichsbad before it shut. The Friedrichsbad is a Roman-Irish bath house with seventeen different stages to"well-being". Seventeen. Seven. Teen. From hot air spaces to thermal steam baths ... the lot ... til midnight. An extraordinary experience.





Friday 10 August 2012


Today's trip: The Black Forest (part one) and Zurich. Switzerland. Roughly 250 kilometers.

After a fulfilling breakfast at the hotel in Baden-Baden we packed our luggage, programmed the TomTom and left.



Unfortunately, the TomTom wanted to take us back to the Autobahn. And although it was the greatest road ... wait for it ... "in the wooooorld" till that point in time of our trip, we wanted to take the B500 to the Black Forest. But we were lost ... lost in the woods.

Fortunately, asking directions at the tourist information took us in the right direction. To the Black Forest: Baden-Baden to Ruhestein to Kniebis to Oppenau to Triberg to Titisee to Todtmoos to Wehr to Zurich. And splitting it into these sections in search of the greatest road ... yeah, yeah, yeah:


Somewhere in these sections we got lost again. We took some side road that was so small, that by the time we worked out it wasn't a road at all, we ... well ... had to go back. In reverse. All the way.



By the way: In case you're curious about the title of this thing that you're reading ... well ... it was on our way through the Black Forest where we came across a pile of wood. I pointed out to Rebecca and said "Look ... a pile of wood!". You can probably predict the time we came across a stack of bricks. A pile of wood. A stack of bricks. And what these things share is rhythm and soon turned into the running gag of our trip.

And suddenly a bus full of fans appeared.



We took some shots and with spinning tires we took off leaving the bus behind in smoke. The smooth sweeping roads through the Black Forest were captivating with stunning sights, as well as inviting to speed. This was the benchmark.



Unfortunately, we underestimated the distance and the time of today's trip due to the different sightseeing stops. And getting lost didn't help. So we decided on the spot to get a hotel in Triberg. This tacky and touristy Pfaff Hotel.






Saturday 11 August 2012


And today's trip: The Black Forest (part two) and with two stops on our way. The first stop in Zurich. The second stop in Flims. Both in Switzerland. Roughly 130 and 140 kilometers respectively.

Still in Triberg though, we went to see the waterfall, which was Triberg's "thing". And after that we took off to Flims, although on our way we stopped at a lake. To see some titties. To be cuntinued ...